Wednesday, August 29, 2007

It was my Birthday a while back. Yay.


The view from my parents' house here in Bismarck is actually quite pretty. I don't know if I've ever really appreciated it until now. It looks out over a small basin created by the Missouri river, which is visible in the winter through the trees. Now, however, the leaves are full enough to completely block out the light glancing off the river. There are even hill to the south and west. Hills! In North Dakota! Amazing! The hills are as far as the view goes, which makes it shorter than a typical view in North Dakota, which is for the most part very flat. The limited distance of the view make the place seem cozier. Like the hills are giving us a big hug. Or something.

School starts next week. No, I'm not excited. Everyone asks that. I'm not dreading it either, though. It just is. I very rarely get excited about anything. Before I left for Japan, everyone asked if I was exited to go. If I answered honestly, I would have said "No." I was ready to go, I wanted to go, but I didn't feel excited. When I left Japan, the feeling I got most was the feeling of readiness. I was neither sad, nor excited, nor glad to leave, but I was ready.

I guess I just can't get excited over forgone conclusions, like school starting, or graduation, or birthdays, or moving to someplace new. If there's a set date and a known conclusion, there's nothing to get excited about. The few times I can remember feeling excited, it was always a nervous or anxious excitement: "Can the Twins come from behind?" "Will she say yes?" "How's Harry going to get out of this situation?" "What's under the Christmas tree?"

It's the same reason why roller coasters don't scare me at all: the conclusion is known in advance. But that doesn't mean that the ride to the end can't be fun.


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